You can’t please everyone, no matter how much you try.
You can’t please everyone. There’s always going to be someone disappointed, so you might as well make yourself happy and Be You. – Lzzy Hale
Learn to say NO and mean what you say. Say it loud and clear when you mean it. Don’t ever be afraid to say NO when you need to say it anytime and anywhere.
Everybody can’t like you, you need to get that into your head and keep being real and honest with yourself.
You can’t like everyone and everyone can’t like you either. Just be true to yourself. You have to stop waiting for validation from people. Whether you’re loved or hated by people, that’s not going to change your decision to live a purposeful life. What matters is that you love yourself and live your purpose in life happily, regardless of who likes or hates you.
Stop letting people walk all over you or letting how people feel about you affect your life. Get control of your life and remember that you owe nobody nothing. Do only what makes you happy and what pleases God.
If you keep saying YES to everyone and to everything, you will only be AVAILABLE and not VALUABLE. Yes, you will not only lose your self respect, happiness, you will lose your valuables and your values too. People respect you if you respect yourself. People respect you if you have a code of morals and principles. People respect you if you stand up for yourself, for what you believe and set boundaries. People pleasing will do you more harm than good.
The one thing I learned about people pleasing is, there’s an expiration date. Self-preservation is key because, the same people that you give to, wouldn’t give back to you. People will abandon you in your darkest moments and only get back to you when you create your own sunshine. Be wise.
People pleasing will kill you and if you drop the ball one time, they’ll judge you for it. Please put your foot down without being nasty or afraid to set boundaries. I had the same problem at work and when I say no, they said I was not a team player. I did my work and I told them, I will help when my work is done. And that’s the way it should be. Except for a case of life and death, then I can shift my values to save the situation.
Do yourself first, first, and first always. Make yourself happy and fulfilled first before you go pleasing someone else. Take care of you, your children, your family first. I learnt how to kick non essential thoughts and people to the curb in my mid twenties after my very bitter experiences of trying to please everyone! At this my beautiful old age, I no longer live to please people, only God Almighty.
It’s okay to have clear boundaries. If you don’t set your boundaries or have no boundaries and people with ‘entitlement spirits’ around you know it, they will continue to take advantage of you until they mess your entire life up. Being nice does not mean saying YES to everyone and everything. Know this, you can’t make everyone happy, people have to choose to be happy and create it for themselves.
Just because you’ve got the time doesn’t mean you have to donate it, if you don’t want to. Just because you have the money doesn’t mean you have to donate it, if you don’t want to. Just because you have the contacts, networks, resources, or the talent, you mustn’t give them out, if you don’t want to. Learn to say NO and mean what you say.
Ask yourself this, If you didn’t know me, what would you do? If I wasn’t here what would they do? They would do it anyways or find somebody else to do their stuff. Don’t take it on and don’t pick it up off the floor. Just let it lay there that people take care of their own stuff and you take care of yours. Only help when you deem it fit or necessary to. By the way, not everyone’s gonna like you let that go and always be valuable and not available to everyone or everything. Don’t fall for the guilting game of this manipulative people.
They play the guilting game to get what they want and manipulate you to keep being used by them. Learn to make good use of your NO muscles. It’s that simple, and it’s very okay.
Let me share this awesome book with you written by one of my favorite authors, Greg McKeown: ESSENTIALISM. This book is one of my best books and I have made every page of this book very important to me and my beautiful children. We integrate what we have learned from ESSENTIALISM into our daily activities and our daily lives. This book is a MUST HAVE for every person who wants to live a fulfilled life.
These are the five ESSENTIALS my kids and I have come up with for ourselves and our family: Our family Values; which consists of our code of morals and principles. Our Heart|Mind; That’s our powerhouse which must not be messed up by anyone or anything and we guard them well to preserve our body, soul, spirit, sanity and our mental health. Our Body; We do our best to live healthy and feel great everyday, no matter the pressure, challenges or situation. Because we need to be hale and hearty to be successful in life. Our Spiritual Life; Has to be nurtured, purified and fortified. We do this for safety, strength, wisdom, divine direction, guidance and to constantly stay away from toxic people and toxic environments for our physical, emotional, intellectual, psychological, spiritual, mental, financial growth. The fifth is Our sources of income|Money; We don’t take our privacy for granted. We work hard and smartly to sustain and protect our ‘forever legitimate’ sources of income and investments.
We believe in generational wealth creation, security and sustainability.
These 5 essentials are important to us and we do not give them out to please people or to be liked or loved by people. If you keep giving them all away, that’s why you become exhausted, broke, stressed out, available to nonsense, you’ll be constantly used and dumped, disrespected, a walk over and finally you may lose your mind, power, self confidence, self esteem, self control and get down to the level that these nonessential things and people in your life or around you want you to be.
Learn to take care of you first. You can’t pour from an empty cup and if you have a full cup and you keep pouring for everyone just to please them or to be liked, your cup will become empty.
Get control of your life today, be valuable and not always available to everyone and everything.